Place a rack in the center of the oven, and preheat the oven to 350 degrees F.
Grease and flour two 8 or 9-inch round cake pans; set pans aside.
Place the cake mix, coconut milk, oil, eggs, and or vanilla in a large mixing bowl. Beat with an electric mixer on low speed until blended, 30 seconds. Scrape down the sides of the bowl with a rubber spatula, then increase the mixer speed to medium and beat for 1 minute longer. Divide the batter evenly between the two pans, smoothing it out with a rubber spatula. Place the pans in the oven.
Bake until cakes spring back when pressed with your finger and are lightly golden brown, 20 to 25 minutes. Remove the cakes from the oven, and place them on wire racks to cool for 10 to 15 minutes. Remove cakes from pan and place right side up on cooling rack. Allow the cakes to cool completely, about 20 minutes longer.
Optional: To make slicing easier and more precise, wrap each layer in plastic wrap and place in the freezer for 1 hour.
If your cakes have a dome on top, level them off with a serrated knife, then slice each layer in half horizontally to yield four layers.
Place the bottom half of a cake layer on a serving or cake plate, cut side up. Add strips of wax paper under edge of cake to keep plate clean before assembling.
Spread cut layer with 1 cup of the frosting. Sprinkle one fourth of the coconut (about a heaping 1/2 cup) on top of the frosting. Top with the matching top half of the cake layer, cut side down. Spread with another 1 cup frosting and another fourth of the coconut. Continue with cake layers, adding frosting, then coconut. Spread the top of the cake with the remaining frosting and coconut. Add frosting to sides of cake and press in sweetened flaked coconut to sides to cover and more on top to garnish. Remove strips of wax paper.
Place the cake in a cake saver or under a glass dome in the refrigerator for a minimum of four hours, but preferably 3 days for best flavor before serving. Flavors will meld and develop and cake will become moist and more flavorful the longer it sits.